Monday, June 28, 2010

The Farting Keyboard


As I write this, I am farting.

In o
rder to allow a smooth exit for the ass vapors, I lean slightly to the left; raising my right butt cheek. This, in turn, puts a slight increase in pressure to the keys that I strike with my left hand.

So
rry.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Burger King Ribs: Official review



Production of this item needs to cease immediately.

Putting these "blood blisters taped to bones" in your mouth is the equivalent of digesting solid fart matter. If you like them, you should not be allowed to raise children or hold political office.

The fact that these ribs are still inside me makes me feel dirty. I feel like I'm being raped.